Married to the Man of my Dreams.

Mommy to the most beautiful baby boy.

Loving Life and realizing everyday that...

it is All Worth It!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

1st ultrasound scheduled on...

Friday!  Yes, this Friday at 1:00 pm.    :::impatiently taps fingers on table:::

Saturday, December 27, 2008

6 Weeks today

We are 6 weeks along today! The baby is the size of a sweet pea

and growing like crazy, he/she is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating, and blood is starting to circulate.

Once again I am amazed that all of this is happening inside of me! I still feel good. A little more instances of queasiness but I am not tired. I received the nicest call from my SIL yesterday as well as from Jason's Dad and step Mom. They are SO excited and that makes us even that much more excited! I didn't hear back from the Dr.'s office yesterday so I will have to call on Monday. I am hoping we can get in on Friday. I will keep you updated!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Singleton or twins?

What do you think?  I have added a poll at the top of our blog.  Remember...we had 2 follicles at our iui.  My gut feeling (even after the stats, Tia!) is that we are having a singleton.  I don't know why, I just feel that.  So tell us what you think!

The Cat is Out of The Bag...

our families all know the news! I made cards for our family that were with us Christmas morning. I found a stamp with two little feet that I stamped on the front of the cards and on the inside I printed:
Dear Grandma/Uncle/Cousin, Even though I am only 5 weeks and 5 days old I can't wait to meet you in August. I love you!
I found a little clip art picture of a baby in utero and I added that at the bottom. They turned out really cute! I will try to get one and take a photo of it. Needless to say there were LOTS of tears of joy and everyone was really excited. My 5 year old niece was so cute throughout the entire day. She was telling her dad that he can't say any bad words when the baby is here and he can't teach the baby to do bad things. Already the little mother! Then Jason & I called his dad, step mom, brother, SIL, and nephew in Phoenix. We had them put the phone on speaker and we had ours on speaker as well. When we told them they sounded so excited and at the same time speechless! As I anticipated Wendy couldn't believe I didn't tell her while she was here because we talked about it so much. So once again...Sorry Wendy! And then after dinner we called my Aunt, Uncle and Cousins in Ohio and did the speaker phone thing. They were, of course, super excited. I know they have all been following our journey and have said lots of prayers for us.

The stamp was supposed to be turned out pretty pink!

So now it seems so real! I will call today and reschedule our ultra sound because Jason will be out of town on the 6th. I just hope we see a healthy heartbeat!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant!

Isn't that odd? According to my Dr.'s office you start counting weeks from the first day of your last period. So here I am - 5 weeks and 3 days along. I still feel great. Every once in awhile I feel a little queasy but nothing that a Chipotle burrito can't fix! I really enjoy one of my fellow blogger posts that update the babies size and goings on week by week, so I am going to incorporate that (I hope you don't mind Kerry!) So here goes:

The baby is a size of an apple seed

and looking kind of like a tadpole (but i guarantee you it is THE cutest looking tadpole ever!) and is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Isn't that amazing? Something so small can be so busy!

Speaking of busy, Jason & I still have Christmas shopping to do tonight (gulp) and we still have to wrap all of the presents. One of these years I will have an organized Christmas!

Our Due Date is...

August 22, 2009.

The baby will be a Leo!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Oh the Holidays...

My bil and sil and adorable nephew flew in for the weekend to visit from Phoenix. It was so good to see them and at the same time SO hard because we want to tell them the news but we really want to tell everyone on Christmas. My sil always asks about where we are at with IF and how things are going and I felt so bad telling her that we are just going to "Keep trying" while at the same time I was busting with excitement to tell her. Sorry Wendy! However, that excitement came to a sudden hault when it was brought to my attention about some family "issues" going on. UGH! Without going into detail lets just say that I am over the obstacles that we have faced over the past month and a half and I really just want things to settle down so Jason and I and our families can be excited about the baby and all of the planning and anticipation that comes along with him or her. Can't I just have once full week with out any stress or tears or anxiety? That is all I really want for Christmas...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

2nd Beta...

Jason & I went to lunch yesterday and while we were enjoying our days worth of Chipotle the Dr.'s office called. Beta is now at 805 and progesterone is at 68. Suzie reassured us that the progesterone level fluctuates depending on the time of day and that anything over 20 is good. So we are officially pregnant! We have our first ultrasound scheduled for January 6th at 11:00am. WOW! It's almost unbelievable. I am 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I don't really have any symptoms - the only thing that I have noticed (even before the + test) is that I am very sensitive to smells. During the two week wait we were at Chipotle (big surprise!) and I was ordering my usual veggie burrito and while I was standing in line the smell of the barbacoa beef hit me and it smelled DELICIOUS! So I ordered up a side of it and added it to my burrito! So - little things like that I have noticed. Hopefully it continues to be this easy (yeah....right!)

Monday, December 15, 2008

We've been keeping a secret...

guess what? We're pregnant!!!! I know, i know, you can't believe that we haven't passed on the good news but our wonderful news came during such a turbulent time that it was really hard. You see we found out about Logan's death Saturday night. And then I poas Wednesday night just for fun. I knew I wasn't supposed to test until Friday but i couldn't help myself. As i sat in the bathroom Jason napped peacefully in the bedroom after a long day. I watched the window in the test show me one pink line and I was devastated but I was also telling myself that I knew this would happen - that we were destined for yet another heart wrenching BFN. As I sat there trying to figure out where we could scrounge up $15,000 and convincing myself the the Cleveland Clinic would be the best place to move forward with IVF a second line began to appear. Of course I questioned my sanity and squinted at the test which I was no holding at every possible angle. Yep - a 2nd line! Kinda faint - but still there. I practically skipped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where my jumping on to the bed woke up Jason.
"I think we're pregnant"
He looked at me with groggy eyes and terribly confused. "You think?"
"Well there is a second line but it's kind of faint."
A smile spread across his face and I still to this day can't completely recall the entire conversation but it consisted of words like "excited" "nervous" "cautious" "scared" and "love"!
We decided not to tell anyone until the blood tests at the Dr. confirmed it - because you know- the 5 tests I took could have all been defective. My first draw was on Thursday the 11th We got the results back the same day and the results were great. My beta was at 105 and progesterone at 108. However, Logan's funeral was Thursday as well and we just did not really feel up to celebrating on such a sad day. Also -a second draw was needed which had to be postponed until Monday the 15th (today) where the Dr. makes sure that those numbers double. We had planned on having most of the family over on Sunday to bake Christmas cookies and watch football and Jason & I thought that would be a great day to tell everyone. However - that quickly came to a screeching halt when we had to put Sophia down on Saturday night and then my sister came down with the flu and didn't make it on Sunday. Unfortunately, it feels like we haven't been able to really celebrate the FANTASTIC news with all of the heartbreak going on. So here I sit, waiting for the phone call from Conceptions with my 2nd beta number, wondering how to tell everyone.

1st Test I took!

2nd Test

2 more...just in case!

An iui the day after Thanksgiving gives us so much to be thankful for and we have the opportunity to share the news Christmas morning. We are blessed!

Where are we at?

Needless to say that with all of the heartbreaks of last week we have not been concentrating on IF. I need to call and schedule an appt with Dr. S as we had to cancel it last week. Maybe we will just wait until after the holidays...I am not sure we want yet another thing to worry about.


Sophia lost her fight with kidney disease on Saturday night. Jason and I are SO sad.

She seemed a little odd Saturday morning as i was getting ready for work. Here breathing seemed labored. I told Jason to keep an I eye her when I kissed him goodbye and he promised to do so. When i got home that afternoon she seemed okay. She excitedly went outside with me while I decorated the porch with some garland and Christmas lights. but when Jason got home she stared acting very lethargic and would not lift her head up. I called the vet - they were closed so we took her over to the emergency vet where after a bunch of test it was determined that her kidneys were calcifying waste instead of filtering it and her one good kidney was full of stones. Once we knew we had to put her down the Dr. brought her into us and we spent a good hour and a half with her. It was easy to see she was not feeling well as she was not acting herself at all. Once we were ready the Dr. came in and let Sophia stay comfortable on Jason's lap while she administered the drug. After one last weak meow it was done. It all happened so quickly but at the same time seemed to take forever.

This is the first time either Jason or I have had to do something like this and it was heartbreaking. We then got to spend time with her after...

So now the last day and a half have been spent missing her terribly. I didn't realize not only the routine we are in but also our pets. We miss her running into the kitchen with her tail held high when the milk is opened, greeting me in the morning when the alarm goes off, racing me in to the bathroom and snuggling right on top of the heating vent to stay warm, fluffing up the pillows before she snuggle into them to take a nap...we miss everything. I had never had a cat before Sophia. I was always and still am a dog person. But while Jason and I were living in an apartment we did not think it would be fair to get a dog and I really wanted a pet so we found Sophia in the paper and once we saw her she stole our heats. She was the best cat - although the children that would visit us might not agree! She did not have much patience for little ones or even for particular people. But she loved Jason & I and we loved her.

We miss you Sophie.

What a long week...

I am glad it is over. The funeral for our friends son was on Thursday. It was a beautiful "life celebration" and there were hundreds of people there. i just feel so bad for Andy and Karla, Logan's parents. I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through and I want so badly to fix it for them but, of course, i am unable to. Then on Saturday night Jason and I had to put our cat down. It has just been a long week with entirely too many tears.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How could this happen?

We found out some truly tragic news Saturday night.  Our friends son was killed after he was struck by a car.  He was 14.  When Jason told me I felt physically ill.  I felt like I was going to get sick.  How could this happen?  Why did this happen?  It is just beyond comprehension.  For all of you reading this - please keep this family in your prayers. 

Monday, December 1, 2008

iui #3 complete

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! As i wrote about in a previous post we spent the holiday in Breckenridge and had a great time! Jason and I made the 1 1/2 hour trip back down to Conceptions on Friday morning where we found out that I had two follicles (don't worry Aunt J - no Jason & Stacy + seven!) and we had 35 million swimmers! Yay! My lining looked good at 7mm so maybe...just maybe this will be our lucky cycle. If not, we have an appt scheduled with Dr. Swanson on December 11th for a follow up to figure out where to go from here. So the dreaded 2 week wait begins and will hopefully go by fast. So that is a super quick update - i have a pretty busy week at work ahead of me so hopefully that means that it will fly by!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Twilight Update

I have finished Twilight and I LOVED every page of it. I loved it so much that I quickly finished New Moon. It was okay - a little out there but still good. I am now about 3/4 of the way through Eclipse and I am feeling a little anxious that there is only one more book after this. However - it could be a good thing that there is only one more as daily tasks have taken a backseat to Edward. Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning house - not so important in my world at the moment! Jason took me to see the movie and I have to say I was a little disappointed. Books are always better than the movies but I was hoping it would be better than it was.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Twilight Bandwagon...

Yep, i'm on it. i have jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. This book (now a movie) is all that Nesties can talk about over on The Nest/The Bump boards. So while i was shopping at Wal-Mart i noticed the intriguing book and it was calling to of course i bought it. Part of my budgeting includes that place called the library but i just couldn't help myself. And now i am sucked in. i spend every second of extra time with my nose in this book. i never really thought i was the vampire teenage romance novel type but i LOVE it!

Down the hatch...

Last night was my first dose of 100mg of Clomid. I was really nervous about increasing my dose from 50mg to 100mg. I kept putting off taking those two little white tablets for fear of dizziness, hot flashes, killer headaches or a down pour of tears but so far so good. Only 4 days left.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Here we go again...

we are onto round 3.  My friend the cyst has gone away and we are set for iui #3.  I will start 100mg of clomid (i have done 50mg in the past) on Wednesday.  Jason and I go in on Thursday to do an SA with an embryologist.  Hopefully that will give us a little more insight into his swimmers.  I will go back on Monday for more blood work and then we will have our iui.  As of right now it looks like that will take place Friday - the day after Thanksgiving.  Our families are going up to Breckenridge for the holiday so Jason and I will be making trips back and forth - oh joy.  However, we are not willing to skip another cycle due to an hours drive.  As far as life outside of IF goes things have been crazy but a "good crazy".  Some changes have taken place at work so I no longer am concerned about my job.  At least I can look 12 months ahead instead of 30 days.  That has been a HUGE weight off of my shoulders - more than I realized it would be.  :)

Monday, November 3, 2008

Where have I gone?

As I was perusing the blog world yesterday and seeing how creative and involved so many are i started asking myself this question. I used to be so creative and energetic. You would never find me napping on the couch over the weekend as that was my time to go and do. I always had something to do and a project I was working on. I would multitask - clean, cook, bake, create, decorate, re-decorate, plan...I never missed a birthday and I sent cards or emails or made phone calls for everyone on their special day. But suddenly (or not so suddenly) I am finding myself napping on the couch. Wishing, after the fact, that I had put a card in the mail or made some cupcakes for a co-worker. Wishing I had a bedroom that i actually loved and felt relaxed in. Wishing I had the time to make delicious meals especially at this time of year when comfort food is so wonderful. I have found that I have been convincing myself I don't have time to do these things but that's a bunch of whooy. All that I do is go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed and then start the process all over again. So I ask myself - what has caused me to let go of my passions and of my hobbies? And i can not come up with an answer. Is it the world of IF - do I put so much into this emotionally that I have lost who I was because I am exhausted about thinking of it constantly? Is it work and the crazy market - I have been living my life in what feels like 30 day increments for over a year now. I am constantly worried that I will not have job as my boss reminds me frequently that that this market is awful and that he is "hemorrhaging" money and the largest expense he has at this office is me. . Or maybe I have just gotten lazy...i don't know. What I do know is that I want to turn it around. I want to see thru all of the visions I have for our home. I want to see thru all of the ideas I have swimming in my head that are screaming to get out. I want to get photos in my photo frames, I want to create a guest room that guests want to come back to, I want to make our bedroom a place of peacefulness and of restfulness, I want to try all of the new recipes I have piling up in my cookbook, I want to organize so we don't spend 20 minutes looking for a hammer, i want to start a cooking club, i want to actually finish a book, i want to go to Jason's softball games/football games/basketball games and cheer him on like i did once upon a time, i want to see thru some projects at work that no one has asked me to do but I think will help us out. Geez - I am tired just looking at this! ha, ha. But really - i need to motivate myself because those are the things I enjoy doing. Although I am generally a happy person - I am not happy with who i have become. So i need a plan of sorts - a 12 step program. I'll start out with baby steps (no pun intended) and go from there.
To be continued...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Give us some of those "Phelps Swimmers"

This is in the siggy of a nestie on the TTTC Board. How funny is this...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My "new" Pretty Blog

i just figured out how to change the background on my blog from the boring templates that are offered on blogspot. So beware - i might be changing them quite often because there are so many fun ones! i got my hair cut last night, well, trimmed. i found a lady in Parker that i was referred to and it would be great if she worked out because it is so damn convenient. I was going downtown, which was okay for awhile, but I could only make appts. on weekends and had to pay for parking. So this would just work out so much better! It was a well timed hair cut as I had a KILLER headache that came on about 4:00 pm. It got worse as the night progressed but the shampoo massage felt terrific. I ended up crawling into bed at about 9:00 pm because I just couldn't take it anymore. i am wondering if it is a side effect from my high estrogen thanks to my buddy the cyst? On top of that I had a crazy dream that my RE got beat up while visiting New York. I went in to see him and he had terrible injuries to his face. He was not acting like himself and was apparently not all there mentally. Then, as I was talking to him he began taking down notes with one of those gigantic pens you get from a carnival and was just writing down scribbles. I was petrified, so after the appt I spoke to the front desk and they said that they were aware he was "not all there". Then I woke up. I wonder what Freud would say about that!?! I will be preparing my sample ballot today as Jason and I are going to get out and vote early this week. I really wanted to go on Election Day because I love the atmosphere but I am worried with all the hype surrounding this election that the lines will take hours to get thru. Plus - it sounds like Jason will be heading back to Utah for work so he will be gone on the 4th.

Monday, October 27, 2008

No iui for you!

I went in for my u/s on Friday and found out I have a cyst on my right ovary - really not a big deal except that a cyst can increase your estrogen level. High estrogen level = no clomid. I got the call on Saturday morning that I was not to take any clomid and this cycle there will be no iui. So we will wait. However, at the appt I talked with Suzie and Dr. S wants us to get a SA done with the embryologist. This is a more in depth look at the swimmers and is needed for IVF (gulp -again). He also wants me to do a Clomid challenge test which is needed for before moving on to IVF - but that will have to take place next cycle. On a brighter note - Conceptions had a mind/body/spirit open house on Saturday that I went to with my mom. It was great to show her where we go and where all the "magic" happens ! :) They had a bunch of information on acupuncture, yoga, massage, etc. and the benefits of those practices with infertility. It was great and they had good food!

Jason and I had a great weekend getting that house ready for fall. Jason used a work truck to blow out the sprinklers and ended up doing the same for 4 other neighbors as well as for my sis - what a nice guy! We managed to rake up the leaves from our gorgeous trees and at the end of it all decided we needed a leaf blower and went to Home Depot to purchase one. Too bad we didn't make the purchase before the raking!?!

Friday, October 24, 2008

I'm Back

Yes it has been quite awhile since I have blogged. i needed a break. So last time we spoke I was moving forward with a lap. After so much thought and worry I finally decided I was okay to move forward with it. That the fact I would be put on a ventilator (yikes!) was okay if it would get us some answers and wouldn't you know it...we had a wrench thrown in the wheel (is that the expression?!?). We were told by Conceptions that they could not guarantee that our insurance would pay for the procedure. We were already looking at $3,000 out of pocket to have the lap with insurance covering it BUT if they did not cover it we were looking at $10,000! Unbelievable! I finally get myself on the lap train and I am heading towards a destination and then the brakes are put on at full force. UGH! So after an evening of crying to my mom (jason was in Utah) I got myself back on the tracks and headed in a different direction - or more familiar one. We are now back on the IUI train. Before getting on it I set up an appointment with my OB just to go and talk to him and get his opinions. He is a wonderful man but probably thought I was an emotional basket case. As soon as I started talking to him I burst out in tears. In the end he confirmed that Jason and I are on the right track, that Dr. Swanson and Conceptions is a great place to be and that, unfortunately, IF is expensive and only we can decided how much we are comfortable spending in order to have a family - sounds so unfair, doesn't it? He even told me about a patient that had to use a surrogate with donated eggs and they had spent $102,000. Yes - $102,000. Wow. So here we are getting ready for our 3rd IUI. I have an appointment today for an u/s to make sure my ovaries are good-to-go on another round of clomid. Of course I just know that this will be our cycle - at least that is what I keep telling myself. *sigh*

Friday, September 19, 2008

Surgery Consult Done

Funny story about my apt Thursday at Conceptions. I arrived 20 mins early (yes EARLY - i know that is shocking!) so I found a nearby Starbucks and indulged myself in a decaf, no fat, pumpkin spice latte , delish! I made my way to the office and walked up to the second level to check in. As I turned the corner, sitting in the waiting room directly in front of me was a guy I had gone to high school with - gulp! Not only had I gone to high school with him but we went out on just a couple of dates. Just my luck to run into a briefly dated guy at the reproductive office. He looked up as I walked around the corner and of course I smiled and gave an enthusiastic "Hi". I took my time checking in and then had the awkward introduction to his wife which was followed by the awkward what are you doing nowadays, where do you live conversation. Which of course would have been perfectly unawkward had it been taking place in a bar. Oh well, it gives me something to laugh at now. But onto my apt. It went great! They did a quick u/s and Dr. S said it all looked good but that he can not tell 100% by u/s if there is any endo. After the u/s I was escorted back to his office and we talked for about 1/2 hour. At first he kept talking about IVF and I listened for a little bit but them I told him that I am not sure that IVF is an option for us. And it definitely is not an option right now for us. With this news - he proceeded to tell me that with that being the case he felt I should have the Laparoscopy and that he wants Jason to do another SA (unfortunately, Jason was out of town and couldn't make the appointment with me).  He did say that depending on the results from those we might be put in the IVF category and at that time can reevaluate "our priorities".  I guess that means we will stop spending money on the lavish lifestyle we lead so we can pay for IVF - yes, I am being sarcastic here!  Anyhow,  my lap will be on Oct 6th or Oct 13th.  I am waiting for the office to call me back with a definite date.  Dr. S does surgeries on Mondays so I will have to take more time off of work than I had hoped.  But what the heck - I could use a good 4 days catching up on all of the trashy magazines.  So that is where we are at.  Moving forward once again.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Surgery Consult Scheduled

I finally was able to talk to Suzie on Friday - we played a major game of phone tag! She spoke to Dr. S and the outcome is basically that if I feel it is important and it is something I want to pursue then Dr. S is willing to do a laparoscopy but he wants to do a surgery consult beforehand to make sure I understand everything. So I called this morning and made my consult for Thursday morning at 8:30am. Phew! I feel like I am on the train again. Of course I can decide to either have the lap or not once I talk with Dr. S. I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon which I am looking forward to - they are always SO relaxing. So that is where we are at today. I will give an update Thursday after my appt.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Monday, Monday

I am trying to be a good blogger. I don't have a lot to report on the IF side of my life. We are hoping for a miracle BFP this cycle since we are doing no meds. I am also counting down the days until Wednesday - I am anxious to find out what Dr. S thinks about the Lap. An interesting side note: i talked to my cousin a couple weeks ago and she was shocked at the price of IVF in Colorado. She told me I should call the Cleveland Clinic and get prices. I did and interestingly enough the whole package there (including 5 day transfers and ICSI - which is more here in Colorado) is $15,000. Wow - a savings of at least $5,000. So yet another option on our plate of what-to-do. Don't get me wrong, we love having options, it's just that my mind swirls over them constantly. Another option is to find a job that offers IF coverage in their insurance and stay here in Colorado. But in a perfect world we won't have to get to that point. I have noticed that I have a terrible habit of putting the cart before the horse and I have to remind myself to take things one step at a time.

Friday, September 5, 2008

What's New?

Okay, I have been a terrible blogger lately. I do apologize. There has been so much going on I am not sure where to start....
Jason & I have decided to hold off this month on our IUI's. Yes, I know, time is not on our side and we should be aggressive with our "treatment" but we are concerned about spending money on "treatments" if they are not going to work. We have requested that our Dr. do a laparoscopy. I am not sure how far this request will fly as it is surgery but we just want to have ALL of the answers before we continue to spend so much money. Unfortunately, Dr. Swanson is at a conference until Wednesday so we won't get a follow up call until then. Suzie, Dr. Swanson's nurse, was very nice and open to our request - so we will see where that ends up. If for some reason Conceptions does not think it is necessary I might go to my OB and see what he thinks.
I have been researching the benefits of wheatgrass and fertility on the Internet. It seems to be the hot thing lately on the boards I visit. Seems fairly simple and if it can't hurt it is worth a try - the downside is that I either go to Jamba Juice everyday and spend $1.50 for a shot of it or I get it in pill form and take 14 to 21 pills of it everyday - ugh! However; at this point, I could be told that running backwards everyday at precisely 8:30pm with no clothes on could help & I would do that if it would remotely increase our chances of a baby.
I am continuing with my acupuncture and my aspirin. Of course taking my vitamins. I have successfully cut out artificial sweeteners (no more Diet Dr. Pepper or Splenda) and have cut back significantly on caffeine (one iced tea with no sugar/sweetener a day). I enjoy a cup of raspberry herbal tea (caffeine free) every morning - which is supposed to help with "female issues" and I try to eat as healthy as I can while still eating what I enjoy. I no longer have a glass of wine every night with dinner and I have cut out ibuprofen (it can "interfere" with implantation. I am not sure what else I can do that is within my control but trust me - If I hear of it I will do it!
Of course the IVF scenario has been on our minds and that is stressful enough. It's not the procedure itself or the meds - I would go through all of that in a heardbeat to increase our chances of a baby - I would start tomorrow if I could but here in Colorado we are looking at anywhere between $20,000 and $23,000 for IVF. OMG! Which leads me to my insurance rant. Our insurance covers 70% of diagnostic procedures for IF up to $2,000 and that is it. It will not cover any meds or treatment procedures. Wouldn't it be a lot less expensive for insurance companies if they were to cover IVF since you and your Doctor have control over how many embryo's are put back. The risk of HOM (high order multiples) with IVF is SIGNIFICANTLY less than with IUI. So insurance should pay for IVF procedures instead of paying millions for babies that are in the NICU for months at a time because they are quads, quints or even more. I mean really!?! It makes no sense to me. And it probably will not make any sense to anyone who has not faced IF before. Jason and I have a right to have a family as much as anyone else in this world. Unfortunately we have to have procedures that are "medically necessary" in order for that to happen. Of course insurance deems these procedures and "unnecessary". BLAH!
It is just so unfair. Okay - rant over.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

So exciting

I met a girl online (not in-real-life) through the IF board I frequent on The Nest. i took an interest in her story as she is also a patient of Dr. Swansons. Her blog is titled "Our Stork got what?" and is in my blog list below. Long story short, Kerry got her BFP yesterday after IVF #1. Check out here blog and read her post about her BFP. It's great! She really captures the excitement of her whole journey. I am so excited for her - although I have never "met" her. It is amazing the support and "friendships" you can create online - especially on The Nest's TTTC Board.
Congratulations Kerry!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Meet Dr. Swanson

All of this talk about Dr. Swanson and Conceptions made me think I should introduce you to them. Here is the link to check them out:

Wednesdays thoughts...

I called the Dr.s office yesterday and left a message for my Dr.'s nurse, Suzie. I let her know that we would have to pass on this cycle since Jason was out of town. i was secretly glad that i was able to leave a vm because i wasn't sure if i would "be in trouble". I am sure iui couples cancel - but i didn't want the office to think of us as "slackers". I got a message from Conceptions and it was SO reassuring...they even apologized to me that this cycle had to be cancelled. However, they did want me to test for my LH surge. Apparently, if you do not ovulate on clomid it can cause cysts. Fast foreword to that evening - I tested and sure enough I had my surge (CD 14 - textbook). So no worries. Now I am just looking forward to this next cycle. If all goes as planned our iui will be the week of Sept 8th...hmmm that would make a June baby. That is a TERRIBLE habit I have - figuring out a due date of a baby I am not even pg with. Oh well- one can dream.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

IUI #3 Cancelled

I haven't posted in awhile. We went out of town for the weekend to go camping (had a blast) but before we left we found out Jason had to go to Utah this week for work. Ugh! It was important that he go - they are bidding on two large jobs up there and that will keep QPS busy during the winter (we need paychecks in the winter too) but I couldn't help but feel so put out that I took the meds for five days only to find out it was for nothing. After sulking for a few hours - I decided that it was for the best and we could save some money this month and get ready for next month. Everything happens for a reason.

Back to camping - we went up to Horsetooth reservoir with my sister and her family and some good friends of ours. We had so much fun! It was a nice distraction from IF. Check out the photos below.
I have also added a blog list to my blog. On the lower left hand side I will be adding my favorite blogs that I read, I just thought that I would share :).

The man that still makes my heart pitter-patter!

Abbey and Shane (Our niece and nephew)

The Party Cat!

Me sliding head first off of the Party Cat!

Me and the kids

Me and fearless Abbey going down the slide!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I get to do Acupuncture again!!!!

I started acupuncture back in January to help us out with IF. I LOVED it but had to stop going in April because it was $70.00 a treatment X 2 to 3 treatments a month. Ouch! On Monday I was reading over my health insurance policy (thats what you do when you are paying OOP) and I discovered that I have acupuncture benefits! Yay! My copay is $20.00. $20.00 vs. $70.00 - I can do that! So I called Anthem to find an in-network provider and low 'n behold if they didn't name Betsy who I had visited back in January. Betsy actually got me in on Monday. My pulses were still good so I wasn't too far out of whack from not seeing her in 2 months. I will go back and see her Friday the 15th after my IUI. At least our insurance covers something...

Mom and Aspirin

My mom has been doing some research on her own and has discovered the benefits of one baby aspirin a day for infertility.
The issue under research currently is whether this low-dose aspirin can also contribute to other aspects of the reproductive process, namely if aspirin can increase the blood supply to the uterus and ovaries. If so, it would mean that the uterus and ovaries would be on the receiving end of a more substantial dosage of serum-carried hormones, improving ovary productivity and thickening the lining of the uterus.
Studies out of the CER Medical Institute in Buenos Aires found that women undergoing IVF treatments who were administered aspirin became pregnant almost twice as often as women also undergoing IVF but who did not take aspirin. This was in part credited to the belief that aspirin contributed to an increase in egg production.
According to a study published in Fertility and Sterility, "Low dose aspirin treatment significantly improves ovarian response, uterine and ovarian blood flow velocity, implantation rate and pregnancy rate in patients undergoing IVF. Aspirin seems to be a useful, effective and safe treatment in patients who undergo assisted reproductive technologies."

Hmmmm,I know we are not doing IVF but if 1 little baby aspirin a day could help - sign me up! Thanks Mom!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Let me explain...

Okay - so I think I am getting ahead of myself - and everyone else. I just read over my last post and realized that if you are new to the world of IF you will have no idea what some of this gibberish is. So here goes. The process of an IUI starts out on the first day of your period - this is cycle day 1(or CD1). My protocol is to take 50mg of clomid on CD5 - CD9. On CD 12 I am supposed to start testing for my LH surge. What in the heck is an LH surge you ask? Well, here is the long explanation thanks to

At the beginning of the menstrual cycle, the body begins to produce follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). FSH facilitates the formation of a follicle on one of the ovaries. The follicle contains and nurtures the egg. When a follicle has adequately matured, a surge of Luteinizing Hormone (LH) causes the follicle to burst and release the egg into the fallopian tube - the moment of ovulation.
Throughout the menstrual cycle, a small amount of LH is produced - but during the middle of the cycle LH briefly and dramatically increases. Elevated quantities of luteinizing hormone facilitate ovulation - and OPKs detect this LH surge through anti-LH antibodies contained in the sensitive testing membrane of the test.
The LH surge is, alas, very brief - and in order to detect the LH surge, a woman needs to test at the right time of the month - and the right time of day. As LH is produced by the body in the morning, mid-afternoon is considered the ideal time to test.
Once the LH surge has been detected, successful fertilization is most likely to take place one to three days following the LH surge - with peak fertility at 36 hours post-LH surge. Since this ovulation "window" only opens once per month (and the unfertilized egg has a short 24-hour life-span) predicting ovulation accurately is very helpful when trying to become pregnant

If i detect my LH surge I will call the Dr's office the day I detect it and we go in the next day for the IUI. Before the IUI i get an ultrasound and they look to see how many follicles I have, how big they are (usually, a mature follicle is about 20 millimeters in diameter, or about the size of a small grape, just before it ruptures and releases its egg) and what my lining is measuring at (measuring the thickness of the uterine lining, known medically as the endometrium, relates to determining how receptive it might be to the pending implantation of an embryo). If I do not detect my LH surge by CD12 I will go in for an ultra sound to measure the size of my follicles. If they are big enough (18mm or larger) the Dr.'s office will give me a "trigger" shot. A trigger shot is an injection of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), which actslike LH, can be given to stimulate final egg maturation and follicle rupture, releasing the egg. I should ovulate about 36 hours after the HCG injection, which can be confirmed by further ultrasound scans or an ultrasound for release. 24 to 36 hours after my trigger we go in for the IUI.

So that's it in a nutshell. I don't know about you but my head hurts just thinking about it! Hope this helps!


I called Dr. S's office on CD1 and Suzie got me all set up for my dates this cycle. I remember Dr. S telling Jason and I that we will do 3 rounds of IUI and then regroup. So I asked Suzie if she had any idea what the next step is for us. I, of course, was thinking baby steps and that maybe we would move onto injectables with IUI before the big one.....I.......V.....F. And wouldn't you know it, she says to me, "most likely IVF" {{heart beats faster, hands get sweaty}}. Apparently injectables are for women who do not ovulate on their own or who don't react well with clomid. The Dr. is pleased with my results on 50mg of clomid - I have been producing two good sized follicles and my lining has been good as well. Suzie also said that the Dr. might be okay with us trying a couple more IUI's (but at $700.00 and change do we want to!?!?!) So I guess we will pass that bridge if and when we get there. I have two days of clomid down - 3 more to go. I will go in on Tuesday the 12th for an ultrasound if I do not detect my LH surge before then. Hopefully I won't have to get a trigger shot this time - my bum was SO sore after that!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

On a brighter note

last Thursday was our 4th anniversary. Jason and I went up to Breckenridge which is the town we got married in. The weather was beautiful and we had a great time. I can't believe it's been 4 years already...time goes by so fast. My mom got us a Margaritaville Margarita Maker - God Bless you mom! We can't wait to try out. Now That I have my BFN maybe a cocktail or two are in order this evening.

I hate these days

I've only had two of them in my entire life, but already i hate them. I tested this morning and got a BFN. I try and talk myself in to not getting my hopes up but part of me just can't help it and then BAM...only one line. The disappointment is on the verge of unbearable. I can't help but wonder: Will it ever be our turn?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

So many questions, So little time...

So i am sure a lot of people who are unfamiliar with IF have a lot of questions. I know i did once we started all of this. So here are answers to some of the questions that I had to begin with and hopefully they will answer some of your questions.

What is infertility?  Most experts define infertility as not being able to get pregnant after at least one year of trying. 1 out of 10 people struggle with infertility and 2/3 of couples who seek medical treatments are able to get pregnant and give birth to a baby.

Whose to blame?  Since i am blogging and putting myself out there, i will answer this question even though, no matter what, it is our challenge.  Jason has a "Not Overly Concerning" issue with his sperm’s morphology (the form and shape of the sperm) and Stacy has a borderline progesterone level. Our RE is not concerned about either of these "issues".  The frustrating part is that neither of these "issues" is really an issue, therefore, we are considered "unexplained".

What is an IUI?
An IUI -- intrauterine insemination -- is performed by threading a very thin flexible catheter through the cervix and injecting washed sperm directly into the uterus. The whole process doesn't take very long — it usually only requires the insertion of a speculum and then the catheter, a process that maybe takes a couple of minutes. (info from This is the first step for many people struggling with IF. Usually an IUI is coupled with meds that help to produce more eggs. However - this is a high wire balancing act because you don't want to produce too many eggs and you don't want to effect the quality of the eggs.

Friday, July 18, 2008

$12.33 per minute?!?!

I had my u/s for release yesterday and I was literally in and out of the Dr.'s office in 12 minutes. That 12 minutes included the time it took me to write a check for $148.00!!!! That is $12.33 per minute - crazyness!!! I need to find a job where I can make $12.33 per minute. I could get on a rant on how unfair it is that insurance does not cover IF but i will leave that for another day. The good news is that the u/s showed that both of my follicles released. So now we will sit back and wait.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Worth the Wait...

that is what I keep telling myself - that it is worth the wait. Once we are able to hold our child in our arms it will all be Worth the Wait. IUI #2 was today and the news wasn't all that great. The good news was that I had two follicles measuring at 20mm and 22mm but the bad news was we only had 3 million swimmers to work with instead of the 27 million we had last time. Although 3 million still sounds like a lot to me.
i asked Jason, "I wonder how they count them?". To this he replied, "With a sperm counter."
Okay smart ass.
So the dreaded 2 week wait (the two weeks you have to wait before testing for pregnancy) begins. I will go in for an ultra sound for release tomorrow to make sure that I ovulated.
Well, i am off to enjoy an evening of tacos and Rock Band.

I'm a blogger!

So i have decided to start a blog to keep track of our babymaking journey. With so many appointments and numbers and facts to keep track of I thought if would be easier to put it all in one place so i don't have to repeat myself which just leads to me confusing myself!
So where are we at so far?
We decided in June of 2006 that we would start "trying" to have a baby. Little did we know the journey we were about to embark on! I went of of my birth control pills (oh the money I could have saved had I known I did not need those little pills!) and we jumped feet first into the world of babymaking. I found out more about how my reproductive cycle works in that first month than all of those days of high school biology! After 1 year of trying our best we went to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE for short). That is a specialist in fertility. We had our first appointment with Dr. Swanson in August of 2007 and he set us up for a battery of tests. Stacy had blood tests, ultrasounds, an HSG, and even more blood tests. Jason had a sperm analysis (oh - to be a man). All of the tests came back normal so we were officially put into the "Infertility of Unexplained Origin" category. A plan was mapped out for us which started with Stacy popping pills and ended with an IUI (Inter Uterine Insemination). So that's where we are at. IUI #1 was on June 18th. I had two follicles (eggs) that released and we had a sperm count of 27 million. I though for sure we would be one of the "lucky" couples that got pregnant on the first go round with twins (thanks to the clomid) and our life would be happily ever after. But no. That happily ever after was not in the cards for us. So we are on to IUI #2. Let's hope this one is our happily ever after cycle because quite honestly - I am tired of writing checks.
So welcome to our journey. If you are a nestie visiting you are all to familiar with this journey we call IF. If you are not a nestie - welcome to a very strage world!