Married to the Man of my Dreams.

Mommy to the most beautiful baby boy.

Loving Life and realizing everyday that...

it is All Worth It!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

1st ultrasound scheduled on...

Friday!  Yes, this Friday at 1:00 pm.    :::impatiently taps fingers on table:::

Saturday, December 27, 2008

6 Weeks today

We are 6 weeks along today! The baby is the size of a sweet pea

and growing like crazy, he/she is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating, and blood is starting to circulate.

Once again I am amazed that all of this is happening inside of me! I still feel good. A little more instances of queasiness but I am not tired. I received the nicest call from my SIL yesterday as well as from Jason's Dad and step Mom. They are SO excited and that makes us even that much more excited! I didn't hear back from the Dr.'s office yesterday so I will have to call on Monday. I am hoping we can get in on Friday. I will keep you updated!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Singleton or twins?

What do you think?  I have added a poll at the top of our blog.  Remember...we had 2 follicles at our iui.  My gut feeling (even after the stats, Tia!) is that we are having a singleton.  I don't know why, I just feel that.  So tell us what you think!

The Cat is Out of The Bag...

our families all know the news! I made cards for our family that were with us Christmas morning. I found a stamp with two little feet that I stamped on the front of the cards and on the inside I printed:
Dear Grandma/Uncle/Cousin, Even though I am only 5 weeks and 5 days old I can't wait to meet you in August. I love you!
I found a little clip art picture of a baby in utero and I added that at the bottom. They turned out really cute! I will try to get one and take a photo of it. Needless to say there were LOTS of tears of joy and everyone was really excited. My 5 year old niece was so cute throughout the entire day. She was telling her dad that he can't say any bad words when the baby is here and he can't teach the baby to do bad things. Already the little mother! Then Jason & I called his dad, step mom, brother, SIL, and nephew in Phoenix. We had them put the phone on speaker and we had ours on speaker as well. When we told them they sounded so excited and at the same time speechless! As I anticipated Wendy couldn't believe I didn't tell her while she was here because we talked about it so much. So once again...Sorry Wendy! And then after dinner we called my Aunt, Uncle and Cousins in Ohio and did the speaker phone thing. They were, of course, super excited. I know they have all been following our journey and have said lots of prayers for us.

The stamp was supposed to be turned out pretty pink!

So now it seems so real! I will call today and reschedule our ultra sound because Jason will be out of town on the 6th. I just hope we see a healthy heartbeat!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant!

Isn't that odd? According to my Dr.'s office you start counting weeks from the first day of your last period. So here I am - 5 weeks and 3 days along. I still feel great. Every once in awhile I feel a little queasy but nothing that a Chipotle burrito can't fix! I really enjoy one of my fellow blogger posts that update the babies size and goings on week by week, so I am going to incorporate that (I hope you don't mind Kerry!) So here goes:

The baby is a size of an apple seed

and looking kind of like a tadpole (but i guarantee you it is THE cutest looking tadpole ever!) and is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Isn't that amazing? Something so small can be so busy!

Speaking of busy, Jason & I still have Christmas shopping to do tonight (gulp) and we still have to wrap all of the presents. One of these years I will have an organized Christmas!

Our Due Date is...

August 22, 2009.

The baby will be a Leo!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Oh the Holidays...

My bil and sil and adorable nephew flew in for the weekend to visit from Phoenix. It was so good to see them and at the same time SO hard because we want to tell them the news but we really want to tell everyone on Christmas. My sil always asks about where we are at with IF and how things are going and I felt so bad telling her that we are just going to "Keep trying" while at the same time I was busting with excitement to tell her. Sorry Wendy! However, that excitement came to a sudden hault when it was brought to my attention about some family "issues" going on. UGH! Without going into detail lets just say that I am over the obstacles that we have faced over the past month and a half and I really just want things to settle down so Jason and I and our families can be excited about the baby and all of the planning and anticipation that comes along with him or her. Can't I just have once full week with out any stress or tears or anxiety? That is all I really want for Christmas...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

2nd Beta...

Jason & I went to lunch yesterday and while we were enjoying our days worth of Chipotle the Dr.'s office called. Beta is now at 805 and progesterone is at 68. Suzie reassured us that the progesterone level fluctuates depending on the time of day and that anything over 20 is good. So we are officially pregnant! We have our first ultrasound scheduled for January 6th at 11:00am. WOW! It's almost unbelievable. I am 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I don't really have any symptoms - the only thing that I have noticed (even before the + test) is that I am very sensitive to smells. During the two week wait we were at Chipotle (big surprise!) and I was ordering my usual veggie burrito and while I was standing in line the smell of the barbacoa beef hit me and it smelled DELICIOUS! So I ordered up a side of it and added it to my burrito! So - little things like that I have noticed. Hopefully it continues to be this easy (yeah....right!)

Monday, December 15, 2008

We've been keeping a secret...

guess what? We're pregnant!!!! I know, i know, you can't believe that we haven't passed on the good news but our wonderful news came during such a turbulent time that it was really hard. You see we found out about Logan's death Saturday night. And then I poas Wednesday night just for fun. I knew I wasn't supposed to test until Friday but i couldn't help myself. As i sat in the bathroom Jason napped peacefully in the bedroom after a long day. I watched the window in the test show me one pink line and I was devastated but I was also telling myself that I knew this would happen - that we were destined for yet another heart wrenching BFN. As I sat there trying to figure out where we could scrounge up $15,000 and convincing myself the the Cleveland Clinic would be the best place to move forward with IVF a second line began to appear. Of course I questioned my sanity and squinted at the test which I was no holding at every possible angle. Yep - a 2nd line! Kinda faint - but still there. I practically skipped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where my jumping on to the bed woke up Jason.
"I think we're pregnant"
He looked at me with groggy eyes and terribly confused. "You think?"
"Well there is a second line but it's kind of faint."
A smile spread across his face and I still to this day can't completely recall the entire conversation but it consisted of words like "excited" "nervous" "cautious" "scared" and "love"!
We decided not to tell anyone until the blood tests at the Dr. confirmed it - because you know- the 5 tests I took could have all been defective. My first draw was on Thursday the 11th We got the results back the same day and the results were great. My beta was at 105 and progesterone at 108. However, Logan's funeral was Thursday as well and we just did not really feel up to celebrating on such a sad day. Also -a second draw was needed which had to be postponed until Monday the 15th (today) where the Dr. makes sure that those numbers double. We had planned on having most of the family over on Sunday to bake Christmas cookies and watch football and Jason & I thought that would be a great day to tell everyone. However - that quickly came to a screeching halt when we had to put Sophia down on Saturday night and then my sister came down with the flu and didn't make it on Sunday. Unfortunately, it feels like we haven't been able to really celebrate the FANTASTIC news with all of the heartbreak going on. So here I sit, waiting for the phone call from Conceptions with my 2nd beta number, wondering how to tell everyone.

1st Test I took!

2nd Test

2 more...just in case!

An iui the day after Thanksgiving gives us so much to be thankful for and we have the opportunity to share the news Christmas morning. We are blessed!

Where are we at?

Needless to say that with all of the heartbreaks of last week we have not been concentrating on IF. I need to call and schedule an appt with Dr. S as we had to cancel it last week. Maybe we will just wait until after the holidays...I am not sure we want yet another thing to worry about.


Sophia lost her fight with kidney disease on Saturday night. Jason and I are SO sad.

She seemed a little odd Saturday morning as i was getting ready for work. Here breathing seemed labored. I told Jason to keep an I eye her when I kissed him goodbye and he promised to do so. When i got home that afternoon she seemed okay. She excitedly went outside with me while I decorated the porch with some garland and Christmas lights. but when Jason got home she stared acting very lethargic and would not lift her head up. I called the vet - they were closed so we took her over to the emergency vet where after a bunch of test it was determined that her kidneys were calcifying waste instead of filtering it and her one good kidney was full of stones. Once we knew we had to put her down the Dr. brought her into us and we spent a good hour and a half with her. It was easy to see she was not feeling well as she was not acting herself at all. Once we were ready the Dr. came in and let Sophia stay comfortable on Jason's lap while she administered the drug. After one last weak meow it was done. It all happened so quickly but at the same time seemed to take forever.

This is the first time either Jason or I have had to do something like this and it was heartbreaking. We then got to spend time with her after...

So now the last day and a half have been spent missing her terribly. I didn't realize not only the routine we are in but also our pets. We miss her running into the kitchen with her tail held high when the milk is opened, greeting me in the morning when the alarm goes off, racing me in to the bathroom and snuggling right on top of the heating vent to stay warm, fluffing up the pillows before she snuggle into them to take a nap...we miss everything. I had never had a cat before Sophia. I was always and still am a dog person. But while Jason and I were living in an apartment we did not think it would be fair to get a dog and I really wanted a pet so we found Sophia in the paper and once we saw her she stole our heats. She was the best cat - although the children that would visit us might not agree! She did not have much patience for little ones or even for particular people. But she loved Jason & I and we loved her.

We miss you Sophie.

What a long week...

I am glad it is over. The funeral for our friends son was on Thursday. It was a beautiful "life celebration" and there were hundreds of people there. i just feel so bad for Andy and Karla, Logan's parents. I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through and I want so badly to fix it for them but, of course, i am unable to. Then on Saturday night Jason and I had to put our cat down. It has just been a long week with entirely too many tears.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How could this happen?

We found out some truly tragic news Saturday night.  Our friends son was killed after he was struck by a car.  He was 14.  When Jason told me I felt physically ill.  I felt like I was going to get sick.  How could this happen?  Why did this happen?  It is just beyond comprehension.  For all of you reading this - please keep this family in your prayers. 

Monday, December 1, 2008

iui #3 complete

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! As i wrote about in a previous post we spent the holiday in Breckenridge and had a great time! Jason and I made the 1 1/2 hour trip back down to Conceptions on Friday morning where we found out that I had two follicles (don't worry Aunt J - no Jason & Stacy + seven!) and we had 35 million swimmers! Yay! My lining looked good at 7mm so maybe...just maybe this will be our lucky cycle. If not, we have an appt scheduled with Dr. Swanson on December 11th for a follow up to figure out where to go from here. So the dreaded 2 week wait begins and will hopefully go by fast. So that is a super quick update - i have a pretty busy week at work ahead of me so hopefully that means that it will fly by!