Twilight Update

I have finished Twilight and I LOVED every page of it. I loved it so much that I quickly finished New Moon. It was okay - a little out there but still good. I am now about 3/4 of the way through Eclipse and I am feeling a little anxious that there is only one more book after this. However - it could be a good thing that there is only one more as daily tasks have taken a backseat to Edward. Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning house - not so important in my world at the moment! Jason took me to see the movie and I have to say I was a little disappointed. Books are always better than the movies but I was hoping it would be better than it was.

The Twilight Bandwagon...

Yep, i'm on it. i have jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. This book (now a movie) is all that Nesties can talk about over on The Nest/The Bump boards. So while i was shopping at Wal-Mart i noticed the intriguing book and it was calling to me...so of course i bought it. Part of my budgeting includes that place called the library but i just couldn't help myself. And now i am sucked in. i spend every second of extra time with my nose in this book. i never really thought i was the vampire teenage romance novel type but i LOVE it!

Down the hatch...

Last night was my first dose of 100mg of Clomid. I was really nervous about increasing my dose from 50mg to 100mg. I kept putting off taking those two little white tablets for fear of dizziness, hot flashes, killer headaches or a down pour of tears but so far so good. Only 4 days left.

Here we go again...

we are onto round 3.  My friend the cyst has gone away and we are set for iui #3.  I will start 100mg of clomid (i have done 50mg in the past) on Wednesday.  Jason and I go in on Thursday to do an SA with an embryologist.  Hopefully that will give us a little more insight into his swimmers.  I will go back on Monday for more blood work and then we will have our iui.  As of right now it looks like that will take place Friday - the day after Thanksgiving.  Our families are going up to Breckenridge for the holiday so Jason and I will be making trips back and forth - oh joy.  However, we are not willing to skip another cycle due to an hours drive.  As far as life outside of IF goes things have been crazy but a "good crazy".  Some changes have taken place at work so I no longer am concerned about my job.  At least I can look 12 months ahead instead of 30 days.  That has been a HUGE weight off of my shoulders - more than I realized it would be.  :)

Where have I gone?

As I was perusing the blog world yesterday and seeing how creative and involved so many are i started asking myself this question. I used to be so creative and energetic. You would never find me napping on the couch over the weekend as that was my time to go and do. I always had something to do and a project I was working on. I would multitask - clean, cook, bake, create, decorate, re-decorate, plan...I never missed a birthday and I sent cards or emails or made phone calls for everyone on their special day. But suddenly (or not so suddenly) I am finding myself napping on the couch. Wishing, after the fact, that I had put a card in the mail or made some cupcakes for a co-worker. Wishing I had a bedroom that i actually loved and felt relaxed in. Wishing I had the time to make delicious meals especially at this time of year when comfort food is so wonderful. I have found that I have been convincing myself I don't have time to do these things but that's a bunch of whooy. All that I do is go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed and then start the process all over again. So I ask myself - what has caused me to let go of my passions and of my hobbies? And i can not come up with an answer. Is it the world of IF - do I put so much into this emotionally that I have lost who I was because I am exhausted about thinking of it constantly? Is it work and the crazy market - I have been living my life in what feels like 30 day increments for over a year now. I am constantly worried that I will not have job as my boss reminds me frequently that that this market is awful and that he is "hemorrhaging" money and the largest expense he has at this office is me. . Or maybe I have just gotten lazy...i don't know. What I do know is that I want to turn it around. I want to see thru all of the visions I have for our home. I want to see thru all of the ideas I have swimming in my head that are screaming to get out. I want to get photos in my photo frames, I want to create a guest room that guests want to come back to, I want to make our bedroom a place of peacefulness and of restfulness, I want to try all of the new recipes I have piling up in my cookbook, I want to organize so we don't spend 20 minutes looking for a hammer, i want to start a cooking club, i want to actually finish a book, i want to go to Jason's softball games/football games/basketball games and cheer him on like i did once upon a time, i want to see thru some projects at work that no one has asked me to do but I think will help us out. Geez - I am tired just looking at this! ha, ha. But really - i need to motivate myself because those are the things I enjoy doing. Although I am generally a happy person - I am not happy with who i have become. So i need a plan of sorts - a 12 step program. I'll start out with baby steps (no pun intended) and go from there.
To be continued...