3 years ago when I daydreamed about pregnancy I thought it would be the most wonderful, blissful 9 months.  Full of wonderment and loving my belly.  Fast forward 3 years later and...well...not so much.  I feel horribly guilty typing this.  I want to be the blissful gal LOVING pregnancy. For the past 4 months I have posted pretty blah posts with noting but updates...instead of really using this blog as my virtual journal I have typed what I think others would want to read and not 
necessarily what is really going on.  I have decided to derail from that would of "Cotton Candy Clouds and Rainbow Rivers" and bring on a dash of reality - in a good, productive and honest way.
Anyhow - back to pregnancy.  This is hard work.  I really have started to feel like my body is not my own anymore and that is just so.darn.hard. to accept/grasp.  I have fleeting moments where I am just so uncomfortable in my own skin - I can't really 
explain it.  It is just a feeling of wanting to be anywhere else, doing anything else at that exact moment.  I tell myself that this feeling will pass and it always does within minutes - it is just that those minutes can bring on such emotions.  On the flip side - there are times that I am just so in love with the overall process and overcome with such love that tears well up in my eyes.  Jason does not know what to do with me!
Physically - I am very 
uncomfortable.  Already.  It feels as if my stomach sits right between my boobs and has shrunk to the size of a quarter.  I just get SO full SO fast which is SO 
frustrating.  I am trying to eat smaller portions through out the day but that really is a hard 
habit to get into when for the past thirty some years you have eaten 
three times a day - as much as you want!  My skin on my belly feels so incredibly tight and itchy and I just wonder where we are going to find room for this baby to grow for 4 more months.  
Hmmmm?  I just thank God I am not an Elephant whose 
gestational period is 640 days - 91 weeks - could you even imagine!
Sleeping has become somewhat of a chore - which bums me out - because I 
usually have no problems with sleep.  To get comfortable I put a pillow between my knees and one along my side.  The 
hard part comes in when I want to roll over.  It is a job of complete 
rearrangement.
These are all small things but I 
think what it is is that that add up to that feeling of your body not being your own.
HOWEVER, at the end of the day - I can NOT wait to meet this incredible baby boy.  Sometimes the anticipation is so overwhelming.  I am so excited for him to be here and I know as soon as I lay eyes on him all of these feelings will be a distant memory.
Now before you publish 
flaming comment and tell me how lucky I am to be pregnant after our 2 1/2 years of trying I want you to know that I realize that.  I feel that we are truly blessed and I wouldn't change it for the world.  However - the reality of it is that not every single women loves pregnancy.  I don't hate it - it is just not what I expected.