We've been keeping a secret...

guess what? We're pregnant!!!! I know, i know, you can't believe that we haven't passed on the good news but our wonderful news came during such a turbulent time that it was really hard. You see we found out about Logan's death Saturday night. And then I poas Wednesday night just for fun. I knew I wasn't supposed to test until Friday but i couldn't help myself. As i sat in the bathroom Jason napped peacefully in the bedroom after a long day. I watched the window in the test show me one pink line and I was devastated but I was also telling myself that I knew this would happen - that we were destined for yet another heart wrenching BFN. As I sat there trying to figure out where we could scrounge up $15,000 and convincing myself the the Cleveland Clinic would be the best place to move forward with IVF a second line began to appear. Of course I questioned my sanity and squinted at the test which I was no holding at every possible angle. Yep - a 2nd line! Kinda faint - but still there. I practically skipped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where my jumping on to the bed woke up Jason.

"I think we're pregnant"

He looked at me with groggy eyes and terribly confused. "You think?"

"Well there is a second line but it's kind of faint."

A smile spread across his face and I still to this day can't completely recall the entire conversation but it consisted of words like "excited" "nervous" "cautious" "scared" and "love"!

We decided not to tell anyone until the blood tests at the Dr. confirmed it - because you know- the 5 tests I took could have all been defective. My first draw was on Thursday the 11th We got the results back the same day and the results were great. My beta was at 105 and progesterone at 108. However, Logan's funeral was Thursday as well and we just did not really feel up to celebrating on such a sad day. Also -a second draw was needed which had to be postponed until Monday the 15th (today) where the Dr. makes sure that those numbers double. We had planned on having most of the family over on Sunday to bake Christmas cookies and watch football and Jason & I thought that would be a great day to tell everyone. However - that quickly came to a screeching halt when we had to put Sophia down on Saturday night and then my sister came down with the flu and didn't make it on Sunday. Unfortunately, it feels like we haven't been able to really celebrate the FANTASTIC news with all of the heartbreak going on. So here I sit, waiting for the phone call from Conceptions with my 2nd beta number, wondering how to tell everyone.

1st Test I took!

2nd Test

2 more...just in case!

An iui the day after Thanksgiving gives us so much to be thankful for and we have the opportunity to share the news Christmas morning. We are blessed!